1. YOU WILL SPEND A SHIT-TONNE OF MONEY.
Yes, I've checked. 'Shit-tonne' is actually a standardized unit of measurement now. Thanks, Gen-Y.
For real, though. It isn't even simply the fact that moving costs a lot of money (which it does), but it is that you don't even really know how to look after yourself in a new city. If, heaven forbid, you move to a different country, you will pretty much have to learn how to shop all over again. You will buy the wrong things, shop in the wrong places, and genuinely just waste money for at least a month or two until you learn the vital 'International Skimping' technique. Also, you will probably overspend on things like electric, cable, and everything else until you meet people who can teach you the basics.
2. YOU WILL FALL VICTIM TO DOUCHEBAGGERY (AGAIN)
This is so inevitable I can't even (...)
Here's the thing: We have all done it before. We have all invested time in the unreturned messages; the non existent phone calls; and the people who play a disappearing act for weeks on end (or until they like something that you post on some form of social media). And this isn't just guys. I think girls do it, too.
But we have all sat around waiting for that person to get bored and text us for a 'hang out', even though we know that as soon as the hangout session is over, we will go back to feeling a little like a used bag of shit.
So why are we going to do this all over again after moving away? It's simple. This feeling (the chase) is so familiar and so concrete: it's almost like you will reach for the only steady thing there is. You will reach for that unreliable (yet gorgeous) person because there is a strange comfort in it. It's almost like they are your way of creating a link to this new place, and even though you deserve better, everything is so rocky that you will settle for it as it is. Don't worry: this too shall pass.
3. YOU WILL SECOND GUESS YOURSELF
You will wonder if you did the right thing, for the right reasons.. and you will wonder where this decision will land you in the next five; ten; even twenty years. Is this going to change the way you view the world? Is this going to change every plan and idea you ever had for who you would be? Is this going to be the making of you?
Most likely, it will do all of those things.
No matter how many times you retrace the thought process that got you to where you are, you will realize that you made this decision for a reason, and that certainly can never be the wrong thing to do. I have always been a firm believer that anytime you are uncomfortable, you are growing into a better and stronger person.
Moving away will MAKE YOU.
4. YOU WILL MISS SOMETHING THAT YOU NEVER EXPECTED TO
So here is a little something about me.
At my parent's home in the Australian countryside, there is a large fence around the entire property. Our dog is like Houdini (or she likes to think she is), so we have to keep this huge metal gate closed at all times. Whenever you leave or arrive, you have to get out of the car, open the gate, get back in, drive through the gate, then close it again. Annoying, huh? And when it's a car full of people, someone always has to volunteer to be the person that gets out of the car and "gets the gate".
This is the craziest thing.
Since moving away, I really miss that part of my day at 7.30pm when I would get home from work. In the winter it would already be dark, and I would climb out of my car, clutch foot aching from the two hour drive, and I would push the gate open and look at the house. Hot steam would be coming out of the chimney. The lights would be reflecting a dim hue out onto the front yard. And I knew there was a hot meal waiting for me inside, prepared by either one of my parents who would greet me: always eager to find out about my day.
That one moment of stopping the hustle and bustle of everyday life to open the gate, is one of the things I miss the most. And when you move away, it will most likely be something equally as random that sticks in your head as a moment of clarity.
5. YOU WILL FEEL STUPID
What is a social insurance number?
What kind of insurance would I need to go to the dentist?
How do I file my P45?
How many superannuation, renumeration, and pension funds are in my name?
These are all questions that I have asked in the previous few years. Point is, a lot of these questions will be common knowledge to a resident of the country you have moved to. If you turned to a Canadian and said (as I have), "what is a social insurance number?" they will probably look at you like you're from another planet: not because they are mean, but because to them, your homeland IS another planet and they cannot believe you wouldn't have a social insurance system. You probably do, but it is called something different, be it National Insurance, or a Tax File Number (TFN).
People will tell you how to do things, and assume that you will know the process behind it, even if this is something that is totally foreign to you. Just a few days ago, I was asked for proof of tenant insurance and I was shocked. What was this? And why did I need it? I had never heard of it in my life. Similarly, post dated cheques are something that I had never come across until moving to Canada. And what happened to Universal Healthcare?
Call me stupid all you want: I already feel like a bit of an idiot anyway.
But its OK. I am learning.
Also, I can flip you off in six different languages.
SO, here's five.
But there are SO MANY MORE things, just waiting for you.
Hop to it.
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