Friday, November 29, 2013

I Forgot How To Child...

Sometimes I catch myself thinking that I have grown up too fast.

Since I was fifteen, I have been occupied full time. From 15-17 I was in high school and working in a local supermarket. From 17-19 I was in University as a full time law student, and I also worked in the supermarket and the local pub 7 days a week. From here, I moved to the UK and was a door-to-door salesperson for 13 months working 75 hour weeks. I skipped from this into recruitment, to media sales, to Australia, to Canada... never really breaking this stream of constant employment.

I went on vacation to New York when I was 20. I holidayed in Australia when I was 22. Neither of these lasted more than ten days. Any other travel has been done on the weekends.

I catch myself thinking, from time to time, that I never really let myself be young. I never had a casual job or part time employment which wasn't accompanied by a full time occupation. I've never really been unemployed for longer than a few weeks (mainly by choice). Some would say I'm lucky, but as the close of another year approaches I have to sit back and wonder: when over-working is a necessity in your life, is it really very lucky at all?

Living in a student city like I do, and have done in the past, I am surrounded by University Students who fill their time with the following: One or two classes a week; 4-15 hours of work a week; and approx. 148 hours of professional drinking, sleeping, and netflix-watching. Many students do not even need to work at all.

Don't get me wrong. I am not trying to insinuate that students do not work hard. There are many who do. I am merely stating that in the world of student loans, scholarships, and over generous parents, it is increasingly difficult to actually spot a student who behaves like anything other than a 'student'. When does their week become a 50 hour work week? When do they learn to clean? And where the heck does all their money come from when they are a student?!?

I never took that time to be a student. I was in class or studying or working most of the time. Sometimes I managed to find time to sleep.

And you know what? I am jealous of that me because they still have more time than I do now.

Nowadays, I get really uneasy when someone asks me to go out and do something, because I have to think of an excuse other than "I'm tired". My muscles ache and I'm a little bit fat because I don't manage to make the time to go to the gym. Further to this, I have a bad back and have to pretty much schedule a stress-related illness once every month or so.

I am 23 years old. I work 50 hours a week, pay my bills early, and enjoy cleaning my house. I am really excited about Christmas, not because it's Christmas, but because I get close to two weeks off work. My New Years Resolution is to group up my annual leave into one nice long stretch so that I can catch up on 12 months of sleep deprivation.

Did I grow up too quickly? And when is it my turn to be irresponsible, blase, and relaxed?! If I took time off work now, I would never be able to get another job without facing mountains of questions about how and why I have been unemployed for longer than a few weeks. However, all I really want to do is get addicted to a video game and play it for a week straight; or binge watch an old TV show; or learn how to cook or speak another language... Sadly, I think I missed my chance. 

Oh well... only 40-something years to retirement...

- RH

I bitch about this and other things on my TWITTER

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